Joseph Paul Haines

Optimism

Added Jul 23, 2008, Under: Uncategorized

Birdy, birdy in the sky,

Why’d you turdie in my eye?

I didn’t laugh.

I didn’t cry.

I thanked the Lord that cows don’t fly.

About Joseph Paul Haines

Joseph Paul Haines is a writer, drummer, brewer and geek. His fiction has appeared in a variety of magazines and received numerous honorable mentions in Best of Year anthologies for both science fiction and fantasy. When not writing, he's usually either drumming, gaming, brewing beer, or hanging out with his incredible wife, Catherine.

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The SCARcastic little sister a

Maybe I don't win MANY arguments against my sweet big brother. But, the good news is that you taught me to be so good at it, I can beat just about everyone else! So hey, it's a win-win.
admin

Ha! As if you ever won ANY arguments!

(Well, okay, you were right in this case, but c'mon! That was just dumb luck.) ;-)
The SCARcastic little sister a

I know I'm always very late in commenting on your posts. But, this is too funny! I had forgotten that you often quoted this poem as a child. It is so funny that you still use it!

As far as boys being able to take their shirts off, me too Sue! Actually, one time Joe pitched a total fit because mom let me take mine off when Joe thought it was completely innappropriate. I think I was in Kindergarten. Joe must have been in 3rd. Uhg! The oppression of men and brothers. Luv you Joe. (BTW-I won that argument of course, not just because of who I am, but because I was right.)

Congrats on the 9 year anniversary too! That is so awesome! Best wishes to you both!
susan

Sounds like a call for bird poop stories to me!

Forgive me, Kathy, but this is too good not to pass on. . .

Kathy was always the good girl. The curly blond, blue eyed, ruffled dress, patent leather real girl. Me on the other hand, couldn't quite figure out why the boys were allowed to take off THEIR shirts when it was hot. . .you get my point. One of life's great injustices. . .

Anyway, we were all walking to church one glorious Sunday morning, Bibles in hand. I was traveling with a sore bottom after a particularly feverent plea to NOT have to put on the dress.

So there we were. Kathy the pretty girl, me the reluctant one. Side by side (she was offering the best support she could) when down from the heavens came sweet justice. The bird poop landed on HER beautiful blond curls.

Vindication from the heavens! And justice for ALL.

I love you Kathy. . .

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Someone once asked me if I understood the concept of "The Thing in Itself. ". I told them I Kant. #badphilosophyhumor

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Lon:A most excellent set of wishes
Venus:You probably don't remembe
Nicole Gilbert:Wait, you were intimidated? Yo
Doug Lain:Keep on Trucking, Joe. Been a
Adrienne Descloux:I recently tackled similar iss
Annetta Ribken:Face it, bub. You're a wri
Joseph Paul Haines:Thanks, Kenny. Amazing that wh

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Someone once asked me if I understood the concept of "The Thing in Itself. ". I told them I Kant. #badphilosophyhumor 1 week ago
Ah yes, the definition of dumb would be accidentally making a pot of decaf this morning. Silly rabbit. Happy Friday, every(YAWN)one. 2010-08-06
@samhenderson123 Two teenagers? I recommend both a dungeon and electronic monitoring anklets. If the second doesn't work, the first will. in reply to samhenderson123 2010-07-17
@seventorches You rawk. Great job on the recital! in reply to seventorches 2010-07-17
It's so hot the trees are fighting over the dogs. Air conditioned movie theater here I come! 2010-07-17
@tqrstories Nah, that would be making a smartassed reply to your request. I for one was glad to see TQR in Twitter. in reply to tqrstories 2010-07-16
I earned the Lone Wolf sticker on @GetGlue! http://bit.ly/aXFWSp 2010-07-11
@byjoveitsnat I want a review. in reply to byjoveitsnat 2010-07-09
@byjoveitsnat I know, I know. But man, that was one serious patty-cake scene. #thehumancentipede in reply to byjoveitsnat 2010-07-03
Sweet. If you have the new iPhone, check out #gelaskins Mine just arrived and, um, it's awesome. #fb 2010-07-03
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